Tuesday, 16 August 2011


Secret Admirer found itself stuck in a pink room with Blood Visions. They are rowdy, even without their instruments.

Lewis : We don’t sound like Cap’n Jazz.
Harry : We don’t.
Joss : We kind of, we used to…the first song we wrote “Kuddleakeaton” used to sound like Cap’n Jazz and now it doesn’t.
Kirsty : I’ve never heard of Cap’n Jazz.
Joss : You suck!
Lewis : You’re out the band.
Joss : They are like, one of my favourites…Hello! We are Blood Visions and you are listening to radio…Secret Admirer!
Why did you form the band together?
Lewis : We were a street gang. And we used to commit felonies. And the melons ran out…
Joss : We had to straighten ourselves out, living on the streets is a hard thing.
Harry : I just kept on getting arrested and my mum threatened to kick me out. And then…my mum kicked me out. I formed a dance group and, some…a girl I know tried to change me. It didn’t work.
Lewis : That dance group was actually called “Blad Vushions”
Joss : No, we formed a band because all our bands had split up. That’s basically it. Like Coastguard had broken up…
Kirsty : I was in Call Me An Angel but I was kicked out!
Joss : Harry got kicked out of something.
Harry : I got kicked out of Call Me An Angel.
Weren’t you playing a ukulele for a little bit?
Harry : Yeah, I did but was terrible.
Did you get kicked out of that?
Joss : Kicked out of himself.
Harry : The ukulele kicked me out.
Lewis : Internal turmoil and then…yeah. Kicked out your own band.
Harry : I thought about suicide at one point.
Joss : He’s a schizophrenic, next question.
Kirsty : That’s deep.
Lewis : Next question.
What do you want people to get from your music?
Lewis : A boner.
Apart from a boner?
Lewis : Next question!
Joss : Am I going to have to answer all these seriously? I want people to come to our shows and beat the fuck out of each other.
Lewis : Even though you did do a speech the other week about why beating the fuck out of each other was stupid.
Joss : Well I’m going to say that I don’t want people to beat the fuck out of each other outside of shows.
Harry : I  think the only reason…
Joss : Break each other’s necks.
Harry : I think the only reason…
Kirsty : Shut up!
Harry : Fuck off!
Lewis : Fuck off!
Joss : We are in a band for ourselves. That’s basically it. That’s all that needs to be said.
Lewis : Entirely selfish.
Kirsty : What was the question?
They all burst into laughter.
What bands inspire you?
Lewis : Shall we go round in a circle for this?
Harry : Me, err, I love Mogwai. Err…The Ghost Of A Thousand, Pulled Apart By Horses…erm…Surfer Blood.
Kirsty : Come back to me.
Joss : Aww, fuck…erm…Fucked Up.
Harry and Kirsty : Yeah!
Joss : Fucked Up straight up. Represent. Err…Earl, Earl Sweatshirt. The Dream, R.Kelly. Wait, shit I’ve got more…Brandy, Cassie. I’m gonna say Soul II Soul.
They all burst into laughter, again.
Joss : Erm, no…Teedra Moses, “Complex Simplicity” and everything after “Complex Simplicity”. Anyone who says she went shit after “Complex Simplicity” can suck my balls.
Lewis : Kelis.
Joss : Kelis! Anything The Neptunes have done, Busta Rhymes. I told an old guy we were inspired by Busta Rhymes anyway. He was like: ‘who are you guys inspired by?’ and I was like ‘Busta Rhymes!’.
Lewis : What? What Busta Rhymes when he was in Leaders Of The New School or post Leaders Of The New School?
Joss : Just Busta Rhymes.
Kirsty : I like Busted.
Harry : Yeah…
Lewis : You’re out the band.
Joss : Yeah, Busted. That’s the answer.
Lewis : I don’t know who I like.
Harry : I just wanna add: I love Trash Talk.
Lewis : Oh yeah, Trash Talk.
Kirsty : No. I don’t like Trash Talk.
Harry : You’re out the band.
Kirsty : Sorry!
Joss : Deftones.
Lewis : Erm. Fuck. Double Dagger.
Joss : Dan Deacon.
Lewis : Yeah well he’s not really a…I like Dan Deacon.
Joss : The Horrors!
Lewis : Just listing off NME’s reviews list this week.
Joss : I love The Horrors, that new record is sick. Washed Out. Washed Out. Chill vibes on this one.
Lewis : Everything post “Cagefight” (a Blood Visions song) is now chillwave.
Lewis :  I like Double Dagger. I also like the Sun Ra Orchestra. I like, fucking John Cale. I like Lou Reed, I like fucking…
Joss : There is a broad range. Like, we just write music, we don’t think about what we want to write about.
Harry : I love London Orchestra…
Joss : London Philharmonic Orchestra!
Harry : I don’t want to say the middle bit because I can’t say it.
Have you got any plans for recording?
Lewis : Vaguely.
Joss : We want to go record at that place the guy from Death Pedals owns.
Lewis : Yeah but it’s in South East London. So…we’re like…
Harry : South East London!
Lewis : I’m saving up my lunch money, I don’t get school lunches anymore. I’m just like, taking that money and putting it in the band pot. Gotta go record man!
Harry : Yeah, I’ve got a few…I’ve got a fiver to donate to the band pot.
Joss : Yeah, Harry is selling t-shirts to get money.
Harry : I’m also selling my body sometimes.
Kirsty : I didn’t know we did this. You didn’t tell me. I’ve got a Badge-It and everything.
Harry : We might be recording in London, so…
Lewis : There is other big plans. I found out you can get 200 badges made for like £20. So can we just have badges with Lyndon’s face on them?
Harry : Yeah.
Kirsty : I got a Badge-It, so…
Lewis : Just yeah, just make some badges.
Kirsty : Make badges. With my Badge-It.
Lewis : Errr, yeah we do have plans to record but I don’t know who with. Yet. And…
Joss : We are all kids basically, just cobbling together funds. We don’t have jobs.
Harry : I’m getting a job at Poundland probably.
Lewis : Safe. Next question.

What are your plans for the rest of 2011?
Joss : Play shows.
Kirsty : Wow.
Lewis : What are the plans for 2011?
Joss : I want at least one J.Carter label release…by the end of the year.
Lewis : I want to hear at least one J.Carter label release by the end of the year.
Joss : Erm, next question.
Where do you see the band in the future?
Lewis : We’re all dead. Err…a boner!
Harry :  A boner?
Lewis : Yeah, a boner.
The band then went on to talk about yachts and bitches for about five minutes, then it was back to the interview.
If you could sign to any record label, which one would you sign to?
Lewis : Erm, Sony BMG.
Joss : Actually no, that’s a fair point. Aren’t they the distribution label?
Lewis : Ahh shit, I don’t know. I don’t know! I don’t really know record labels. I suppose, I mean…Matador! They you go. Matador. That would be sick. But like because they have all my favourite bands.
Joss : There is quite a few good labels at the moment.
Lewis : But like, who needs a label? That’s the big question. Like, yeah! Punk! Who needs a label? Fuck the label, maaan!
Joss : I really like Tri Angle and Transparent and things. Transparent is fairly varied all the same. They released Eagulls didn’t they?
Harry : Yeah, I just hate labels.
Joss : Do it our own way, we’ll start our own. Dananananaykroyd just started up a label.
Harry : Yeah we could sign up with them.
If you could soundtrack a film, which one would you soundtrack?
Joss : Oh shit, see Harry was talking about Mogwai, have you seen the film they soundtracked?
Kirsty : Spiceworld! Mars Attacks! Brilliant film.
Joss : Fuck it. She’s right, we would.
Kirsty : Sister Act and Spiceworld. They’re my favourite films.
Lewis : Sister spice!
Harry : I would like to soundtrack Titanic. Titanic 2!
If you could get a rapper on one of your tracks, who would you choose?
Lewis : Oh shit.
Joss : Don’t give me that one. That’s horrible. Can we go round?
Harry : Yeah, straight away I’m just going to say Earl. If he’s not in jail. Fucking cunt.
Kirsty : I’m thinking, I’m thinking…
Harry : A good rapper.
Kirsty : I’m thinking!
Joss : I’d like either, no I wouldn’t like NAS, I would like either Invincible, she’s this woman from…I think Philadelphia and she’s fucking sick. No, not Philadelphia, she’s from Detroit because she’s with Dilla. And she’s like really good.
Kirsty : Cher Llyod!
Lewis : Oh shit, I’m trying to think…I like Beck! When he raps, because he’s a sick rapper and nobody knows it! Yeah, Beck but rapping Beck.
Which track would they rap on?
Kirsty : ‘Heavy Heavy’. Cher Llyod is going to rap on it.
Joss : I’d like Pusha T.
Lewis : I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Not at Pusha T, just in general.
Joss : I think on a song that is about having no money, having a rap about having loads of money would make loads of sense.
: I’d like Plan B because he’s brilliant.
Joss : Fucking hate Plan B, next question.
Harry : I’d love that guy who wears that mask, can’t remember…
Joss : Ghostface wears a mask. Ghostface is sick.
Lewis : Lil B.
A collective “OHHH!” rises up in the Blood Visions camp.
Harry : A window has been opened!
Joss : I’d like Lil B to do ‘I Look Like Blood Visions’. Bitches on my dick because I look like Blood Visions.
Is your occasional guitarist Matt King ever going to become a permanent member?
Lewis : He is a permanent member.
Kirsty : Is he?!
Joss : We’d like him to become a permanent member.
Kirsty : I want him to.
Joss : Me and Lewis were talking about it earlier and we think we sound better with him so…
Kirsty : We do sound better with him.
Harry : If Matt King is reading this, can he be made aware that he is now a permanent member.
Joss : If anyone knows the whereabouts of Matt King then please call 0800-B-L-O-O-D.
Lewis : Chant words together! Next question.
That’s it.

Photography by Jack Parker

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